Posts Tagged ‘Wrestling

11
Mar
09

Maryland Wrestling Team Just Doesn’t Want You to Hate It

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Slim chance of that, after the Terps wrestlers won the 2009 ACC Championship over the weekend. Woo-hoo! Duke finished last, by the way. Those ninnies are lucky they have basketball to save their athletic department from total ignominy. 

Brendan Byrne, Steven Bell, and Alex Krom all won individual conference titles for the Terps as well. I didn’t see any of the matches, and know nothing about college wrestling, but I’m going to go out on a limb and say that they won with a sunset flip, a big splash off the top rope, and a chair to the opponent’s head after the referee got knocked out. Respectively. And you know what else? These guys are all juniors. I hope they don’t leave early for the pros.

One last shot...at redemption.  I'm just going to assume the championships went down like this.  I'm comfortable with that assumption.

One last shot...at redemption. I'm just going to assume the championships went down like this. I'm comfortable with that assumption.

On a serious note, given the exploding popularity of MMA leagues like the UFC, I wonder if any of these guys are interested in pursuing a career in that area. Lots of top UFC guys wrestled in college — Brock Lesnar, Chuck Liddell, Randy Couture, Shane Carwin, Josh Koshchek, just to name a few — so it seems to be a prime entry point into the sport. Someone who is less lazy (and, you know, employed) than me should look into that.

All in all, four Maryland wrestlers qualified for the NCAA Wrestling Championships, which happen March 19-21 in St. Louis. And not St. Louis, Missouri, either. Wrestling hotbed St. Louis. Congratulations guys, good luck, and Go Terps!

13
Jan
09

Who’s ready for some rasslin’?

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We interrupt this episode of “As The Vasquez Turns” to bring you some actual sports information.

Anyone out there a fan of the wrestling? Anyone? Bueller? Did you even know Maryland had a wrestling team?  Or that they’re not even half bad?  I think they should spice up the sport, though. They could have amateur wrestlers talk smack before a match, just like the pros.  It should be heavy on the semi-coherent threats and cable TV curse words.

NORTH CAROLINA STATE WOLFPACK? MORE LIKE A BUNCH OF KITTENS, SUCKIN’ AT YOUR MAMA’S TEAT.  ASS!  BITCH!  YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK IN AND TAKE THE GOLD, YOU GOT ANOTHER THINK COMIN. BITCH ASS. YOU AIN’T THE FIRST TO TAKE A STEP UP, AND I CAN TELL YOU THIS, ASS-BITCHES…WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN INSIDE THE SQUARED CIRCLE…YOU AIN’T…GONNA BE…THE LAST.  WORD TO YOUR MUTHA!

Maybe they’re just not taking enough roids. Who knows. But perhaps it’s all for the better, as the Terps are not exactly a juggernaut so far this season. As it stands, the team is 3-5, and just lost their ACC opener to UNC, although last year, they were ACC champs for the first time in 35 years, led by conference wrestler of the year and All-American Hudson Taylor, who was just one of six Terps to go to the NCAA championships.

So here’s hoping they’re just a sunset flip away from getting untracked, and LAYING THE SMACK DOWN on the ACC. Because ACC…you can run…but you can’t hide…from The Turtle. FEAR IT, BITCHES!!!

31
Oct
08

jack-o-lantern heralds the beginning of winter sports

Trick-or-treat!

Trick-or-treat!

Hi there guys and ghouls!  Huh huh huh!  It’s me, your squatty old friend Jack-O-Lantern.  Now, I’m not a scaaaaary faced Jack-O-Lantern like some of my cousins.  Nope, not me.  I’m a happy pumpkin, and I’m here to talk with you kids about Maryland’s winter sports!  You see kids, when there is a chill in the air and the leaves start to change two things happen: I get carved-up and immediately start to decay, and winter sports begin!  So start roastin your seeds, stock-up that wood pile, and warm your cockles because it’s time to go indoors! Yuk yuk yuk!

Both the men and women’s Swimming and Diving teams beat Johns Hopkins in College Park at Eppley Recreation Center Natatorium last weekend.  The two teams placed six swimmers in the Olympic Trials over the summer, so look for a winning season from both programs.  They face the Blue Devils in Raleigh on Halloween. That sounds spooky to me!

The Wrestling team finished the season with a 16-4 record and an ACC Championship last year.  Led by All-American Hudson Taylor, the team returns 9 of 10 starters and comes into the season ranked #17.  They start the season at the Fighting Scot Duals in Edinboro, PA this Saturday. Hey, maybe you should dress-up as a Fighting Scot this Friday!

The Competitive Cheer team is going for their fourth straight NCA national title.  That’s right, there are no finer cheerleaders than Maryland cheerleaders.  The team recently named senior Ali Pascucci and junior Lauren Louis co-captains.  Their first demonstration was at Maryland Madness, but the season starts in December. I just hope Maryland Madness ends before Mischief Night, otherwise I might end-up as a pile of mush! Wuh huh!

Gymnastics starts in January, and this year is a farewell season for 31-year head coach Bob Nelligan. The Gymnastics team has a blog of its own called Tumble Talk! Check-in and you’ll find tantilizing tidbids such as this quote from Kelsey McDermid: “Brandi George is putting her new dismount in and it looks great!”  I don’t even know what that means but it sounds hot. Wait, am I supposed to be a pumpkin?

Finally, the Indoor Track and Field teams also start in January.  The teams graduated a combined 15 seniors, and replace them with 21 freshmen coming into this year.  Watch out for high school national champion Dwight Barbiasz to out leap the competition this year.

OK kids, that’s it for now, old Jack needs to get back to his post before nightfall.  Just remember to root for winter sports, and please don’t kick my head in! Happy Halloween and GO TERPS!




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