Posts Tagged ‘Terrapins Rising


Terrapins Rising recap: Episode 8

Meh. That sums it up.

But I guess I have to type more words. Fine, so it was just a recap of the previous shows. The previous episode — which had its own problems — got me a lot more pumped for the season than this one did, which is strange, considering that this was the season finale, and the first game is this weekend.

Want to know what else was strange? It didn’t really focus on any of the team’s marquis players. The main focus, bafflingly, was sophomore Jamarr Robinson, and the Quixotic battle he waged — against himself — to win the backup QB slot. Here’s where a little Photoshop jiu-jitsu would come in handy…a photo of Jamarr Robinson, tilting at windmills, Sancho Panza by his side? Mwah. That’s some artsy shit right there.

But anyway, since the team’s other two quarterback options C.J. Brown and Danny O’Brien are still too busy learning how to shave, there wasn’t a whole lot of drama here. Unless, of course, you were a producer of “Terrapins Rising,” in which case Jamarr Robinson’s brave battle was like Rudy, Brian’s Song, and Who Shot J.R. all rolled into one. And at no point in the show did anyone ever say, “Hey, Jamarr’s our backup.” No one implied it. No one sarcastically referenced it. Thanks for the closure, guys. (For the record, Robinson is indeed the backup, and could see game action this year regardless of Chris Turner’s status. But yeah, thanks for helping me to not learn that on the show, guys. I guess we’ll have to “tune in to the games to find out,” won’t we. I see what you did there. Sweet.

Anyway, another fine season of Terrapins Rising. Its end is just another signal that the real stuff’s about to begin.


Terrapins Rising Recap: Episode 7


The excitement is starting to build as Terrapins Rising moves from spring practices to summer training camp, meaning these episodes were filmed just weeks (or days) ago.  It’s a great time of year, baby!

In this very special episode, we see some amusing home footage from senior d-lineman Charlie Villanueva  Sam Cassell Jared Harrell. New players and coaches introduced themselves to the team, with the highlight being D-coordinator Don Brown’s observation that “I don’t have any hobbies, but I do like to get BEEEEEEEEP after a victory on Saturday.”   All right!   I also like to get beeeeeeep.

Another cool moment — maybe the coolest of the season — showed about 10 seconds of an actual pregame sideline, with the crowd chanting that “oh-oh-oh-OH-oh” song and the players about to lose their minds from the adrenaline. It was only 10 seconds. But I think I actually had to stand up off the couch, I got so pumped. That’s saying something.

But here’s where it went downhill.  The rest of the episode was bascially one big commercial. Now before you call me a communist or Hitler or whatever, let me say that I understand the promotional aspect of this program.  That’s the price CSN pays for its access.  I like Under Armour as much as the next guy.  I know we all gotta make this money. But I do think this episode got a little carried away.

First, some athletic department suit gives us a “tour” of the new luxury boxes, which we all know have been such a rousing success. I wonder if this little “tour” would have happened if the boxes were sold out.   This wasn’t even the worst part, though.  They spent a whole segment, or close to it, discussing Ralph Friedgen’s weight loss. And hey, the man lost 105 pounds. I take my hat off.  Seriously, that’s incredible.  But then he started talking about this great diet company he hooked up with, and how he can eat the food he wants, and how it fits with his lifestyle, and etc.  They even interviewed the diet company guy — wearing his gay diet company logo-emblazoned golf shirt, no less — who was all like “[Diet company name redacted] was just so happy that our delicious line of entrees were able to” blah blah blah.  What?  But the coup d’etat was 10 solid seconds of Ralph eating one of the diet company bars. Just sitting at his desk. Eating the bar and smiling with chocolate all in his teeth. That airtime could have contained something interesting. But no.  Had to get the pitch in.  Sure, Fridge!  No prob, we’ll do it for ya!  What angle should we film you at while you’re eating the bar?  Before you eat it all, can we do an interview with the remnants of the bar? That’d be an awesome get.

Bottom line:  at this time of year, I believe they should be trying to get us fans as pumped up as possible for the season.  Because in the end, isn’t that the best sales pitch of them all?  Word up.

(Photo credit:  Well, I took it, but the image was from Comcast SportsNet)


Terrapins Rising recap: Episode Five

So did they not have a new episode this week or what? The schedule says they did. My DVR sucks so bad. I hate Comcast SO MUCH! GAAAAHHHHH!!!!! And all I wanted to do was watch a show that AIRS ON COMCAST SPORTSNET. Ah, the irony. The ironic irony.

You know what this sucks. I suck at blogging. I’m a complete failure and my DVR is a crappy piece of shit. They also stopped giving us Starz for some reason on the downstairs TV. WTF, Comcast? How am I going to watch “Erin Brockovich” now for the eleventy millionth time? You tell me, Comcast. YOU TELL ME! Julia Roberts’ body is so underrated. And when I try to call you about it I get put on hold so long I realize I eventually have to pee so I take the phone in the bathroom but I drop it in the toilet and can’t pull up the stream fast enough to avoid the handset so in my total exasperation I was all like you know what screw it dude. Screw it.

Bottom line: guess who’s got a surprise package coming their way in the mail. That’s right…it’s Comcast. Not to spoil the surprise, Comcast, but you know what’s in there? If you said, “it’s a peed-on telephone,” then you are right again, sir! And there’s a receipt in there as well. You owe me thirty-nine ninety-nine. Please credit my account.

If any other cable provider whose dishes don’t stop working when it’s foggy wants to go ahead and take all the business of an entire neighborhood in one fell swoop, please contact me.

Ehh…Go Terps!


Terrapins Rising recap: Episode No. 4

Have a few words with the CANNON

Have a few words with the CANNON

Thought I would offer a little retrospective on each episode of Comcast SportsNet’s documentary show Terrapins Rising. Think Hard Knocks, the scrubbed-clean collegiate version. Where are the recaps of episodes 1-3, you ask? SHUT UP! I’m lazy in the summer. And ornery! I’m like the Derrick Coleman of Shell Games. Maybe if I could peel Terphed’s lips away from the keg tap, I’d be a little more pleasant. I’m like a single mom in this bitch. He’s the Vin Baker of Shell Games.

So episode 4 was pretty good. It started with a scary moment, when Doak Walker award candidate Da’rel Scott and arguable top defensive player Nolan Carroll collided and collapsed during a scrimmage. Or rather, it would have been scary if it hadn’t happened four months ago and I already knew they were both okay. (The show chronicles spring practice, new season practices start Aug. 10.) Always jarring to see someone carted off the field, though, as Carroll was. Luckily all he got was a headache.

The show also served to introduce viewers to receiver Adrian Cannon. A lot of the receiver talk currently centers on Torrey Smith, but if Cannon can find some consistency, look out. Either way, they both have real nice wide receiver names. How can you go wrong when your top two guys are Torrey Smith and Adrian Cannon? Smith and Cannon, son. And that’s real. Throw LaQuan Williams in there, and we can NOT lose.

Finally, the show followed Jamarr Robinson, who is battling, apparently against himself, for the backup QB spot. He seems like a smart guy, charismatic, well-respected, but I want everyone to just admit that he isn’t going to become a factor for this team. It almost seems unfair to him. The guy never makes any plays! Let’s just go ahead and make a clean break, put Daffy Duck or whoever in the backup slot, and go from there. I think that’s the best thing.

Until next week!

Photo credit: AP Photo/Nick Wass (former Diamondback photog)


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September 2020