Posts Tagged ‘Barack Obama


A Maryland-MTSU preview from President Barack Obama

obama-superman Good afternoon. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. You know, just yesterday I had a chance to visit with a few folks out at the Comcast Center.  Doin’ a great job over there. And while I’m here in Terp country, I wanted to talk for a moment about the true cornerstone of my presidency: sports predictions. So.  Let me take this opportunity — to — share some thoughts — on tomorrow’s — game.

Look.  You may recall that Middle Tennessee State upset the Terps last year in Murfreesboro — a city in which — I imagine — I am not welcome.

But I don’t wish to discuss the divisive politics of the past.  I wish to discuss Dwight Dasher, the MTSU quarterback — who does it all.  Literally.  He accounts for 80 percent of the offense and more than half of their all-purpose yards. Philip Tanner, their running back, is out for this game.  But no matter.  Because Dasher leads the team in rushing yards with 193, along with 435 passing yards. I’m sure that if Dasher could throw the football — to himself — he would also — lead the team — in — receiving.

Now.  Make no mistake. Maryland is experiencing some adversity.  Instead of left tackle Bruce Campbell, who is a mountain of a man, we have Paul Pinegar, whose last name — rhymes — with “vinegar.”  Instead of safety Jamari McCulloch, we have Eric Franklin. Instead of cornerback Nolan Carroll, who is — the team’s — fourth-leading tackler — we have Cameron Chism.  At least Nolan will be tossing the coin to start the game. In a similarly empty gesture of conciliation, I have asked my staff to consider Nolan as the nation’s first Czar of Tibular Health. He will be the first person to ever hold this office. No one — no one –will ever be able to take that away from him.

Look. It is all going to come down, once again, to the lines for this Maryland team. No one in this country should ever have to be embarrassed on television just because they cannot hold a block or wrap up a running back. And if they don’t come together as one, I fear that the Terps — could be ripe — for another — embarrassing — day.  But in the end, MTSU will be susceptible to the Terps’ attack. Under Chris Turner’s leadership, these Terps have always risen — off the mat — in times of need.

So. With all due respect to the Blue Raiders, I will select the Terrapins for the victory today. And this is despite my trepidation. I would not be the first president to witness a Middle Tennessee State victory over the Terps, but with any luck — I will be the last. Thank you. God bless you. And may God bless the Terrapins of the University of Maryland.

Prediction: Maryland 24, MTSU 16


The Audacity of Previews: A Maryland-North Carolina Analysis from President-Elect Barack Obama

Look.  We all know that this is pretty much a must-win game for Maryland. We all know they play well at home, and they play well…when the chips are down. As they are now. I think we can all…agree…on these three things.

Now.  The Tar Heels are nobody’s fool. The ACC is anybody’s conference and they know it. So it is natural that they would look at this game as a chance to…take some shots…at their opponent’s…weak areas. With Shaun Draughn and Ryan Houston, they now have a two-headed running attack, and coincidentally, the Terps have, at the same time, seen their run defense evaporate. Bad news for the hard-workin folks on the Maryland D-line, but undoubtedly. A good sign. For. The. North Carolina. Team.

Look.  I give all the credit in the world to Tar Heel head coach Butch Davis. He has built a solid program from the ground up by emphasizing local products. Those products are no longer being outsourced. So once again, all the credit in the world…to Coach Davis.

Now.  I just want to make one last point here briefly, if I may, and this is very important.  Look.  North Carolina has the momentum right now. Everyone is singing their praises, and they’re favored to win this game.  But Maryland, I feel, is hungrier.  And I think this is Maryland’s time. If you look at the numbers, if you look at history, you will see that. And make no mistake:  Those Byrd Stadium supporters can bring a lot of positive energy to the table.

When they started this campaign, there were question marks. And there are still. Question marks. But as I’ve said before, the Terrapins rise to meet adversity. History has taught us that. And I think…on Saturday…they will rise…once again.  Thank you. God bless you.  And may God bless the Terrapins of the University of Maryland.

Prediction: Maryland 27, North Carolina 24


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