A Cinco de Mayo Vasquez update from the Dos Equis guy

most_interesting_manAyyy. Muy bien. Buenos dias, and a very, very happy Cinco de Mayo to you. Full of felicidades, senor. Y cervezas! Ay.

As you know, I do no drink much beer. Not like you, who must drink to forget about your trabajo and about the women of more attractive men. So I beg you, you must drink Dos Equis, my friend. No this Corona. Corona es como orina for caballeros.  So drink Dos Equis.   It is at your supermercado.  Just go.

Si. On this the beautiful day of Mejico’s independencia, or whatever it is, I want to give to you this Spanglish update on the localidad of senor Grevis Vasquez. We know he is testing las aguas de la NBA.  He has until June 15 to decide to stay or to return.  But ah!  What does he feel in his corazon? Only a man like myself can see for sure.

It is no the same team he left, that is for certain. Braxton Dupree, Steve Goins, y Grande Dave Neal son terminados with the Terps. And now perhaps Jerome Burney will leave too? Ay, it is a problema with his foot that makes Jerome go. Very sad. I weep many tears for him.  I give besos of sadness to his feets.  For if he leaves, it is not for lack of passion. It is not like Braxton, el cabron.  Donde esta his passion?  I spit on him! PTOO!

And now my keyboard is sticky.  Aye, diablos de mi boca.  Que mala suerte.

So these four men, they go. Jordan Williams, and James Padgett — Los Infantes — they come.  That gives extra scholarships, senor. Maybe we sign juco players. I guess we will be see, as we see with all things. Like we see who does the killings of the young girls of the maquiladoras of Santa Teresa. Creo que es la policia.

But that is another matter for another day, my friend. Vasquez has said, he desires un championship. But then, he also say, he must earn los dollares for his familia en Venezuela. Una dilemma, for sure. But I tell you this…I tell you right now….he will come back.   Bet your fishing boat, your car — your CASA — that it is true. 

Because if he stays in, he will no be drafted. Have you heard about what he has done at the pre-draft camps? No? There is a reason for that, senorita. Un razon. He is not playing in the camps. He did not play in the Portsmouth Invitational.  Si, there are others coming, but the Portsmouth, that is a big one my friend.  Did he think he was too grande for Portsmouth? Es posible. But many mock drafts — like this one, and this one — do not see him being drafted. Garet Siler of Augusta State, si. Vladimir Dasic of Montenegro, si. Greivis Vasquez of Maryland, no. So why he does no go to Portsmouth, when he needs the ayuda for his draft posicion?  This question, even I cannot answer.

There is good glimmers for his NBA, as well.  But even it comes also with bad glimmers, amigo. This mock draft has him being drafted late second round to los Celticos. But on the same Web site, they cruelly mock him, saying here that “he doesn’t show many of the key elements NBA teams look for in a backup point guard—mainly the ability to limit turnovers, play solid defense and make shots efficiently from the perimeter.”  That is no good, senor.

So he has low draft prospects, he missed a grande pre-draft camp, and he has no hired an agent. Plus his Terps — his beloved Tortugas, the manzana de his ojos — might be better with las grandes nuevas, but will still need his guard play mucho. Starting cinco 2009: Eric Hayes. Landon Milbourne. James Padgett. Jordan Williams. Y the one, the only, Greivis Vasquez. Mark it down. Muy bien. I bet my house. Felicidades de Cinco de Mayo. And stay thirsty, my friend.

And for now, let us watch.  Greivis, on this Cinco de Mayo, you have the floor.

(Update: So Portsmouth is for seniors only evidently. Ay, lo siento. I still hear no stories of him lighting it up. He will come back, my friends. Stay thirsty.)


5 Responses to “A Cinco de Mayo Vasquez update from the Dos Equis guy”

  1. 1 Terplaw
    May 6, 2009 at 9:03 am

    Hahah awesome….love these bits

  2. May 11, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    The afterparty is the one you want to attend.

    Stay thirsty my friends.

  3. 3 TerpAlum
    May 12, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Um, Portsmouth is for seniors only. That might explain why GV’s not there.

  4. 5 RocknRollPart3
    August 14, 2009 at 11:38 pm

    The “um” is what makes you a dick.

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