Archive for April, 2009


That girl from “I Love You Man” has sisters on the lacrosse team

Maybe.  But before I get to that…the lesser-known Maryland sports just keep on rolling. The latest trophy for the case comes from your 2009 ACC Champion women’s lacrosse team. Only one more regular season game (Saturday vs. Princeton) for the undefeated, #2 Terps before Selection Sunday May 3, which I assume airs on CBS.

A few quick observations:

  • Freshman phenom goalie Brittany Dipper has a porn star name.  Just calling it as I see it.  Miss Dipper, you’ll always be welcome in “the industry,” as we like to call it here in the industry.
  • What’s up with all these Maryland towns named after larger, more famous places? ACC MVP Caitlyn McFadden hails from Phoenix, Md. Amanda Spinnenweber, who does NOT have a porn star name, is from Pasadena, Md.  Grace “I can’t believe I’m not Asian” Gaeng is from Bel Air, Md. There is also a California, Md. and a Hollywood, Md.  I’m telling you right now — there is no Maryland, California.
  • Lady Terps Brittany and Brandi Jones are sisters.  But more interestingly, both bear a strong resemblance to actress Rashida Jones, who is perhaps best known for playing Jim’s other girlfriend on The Office a while back or the fiance in “I Love You, Man,” which was a really good movie by the way.   Same last name…all from California…

Judge for yourself:







See? Freakin uncanny right?  Now this is the kind of hard-hitting news I like to provide. You are so welcome. Goterps.


Terps draft results

Darrius Heyward-Bey — Round 1 to Oakland (they said it was a bad pick, although if JaMarcus can air it out and DHB can go get it, could be a good combination)

Kevin Barnes — Round 3 to Washington (good pickup…they need help at D-line O-line wide receiver special teams secondary)

Moise Fokou — Round 7 to Philly

Jaime Thomas — Round 7 to Indianapolis

Dan Gronkowski — Round 7 to Lions (thought he could have gone higher)

Jeremy Navarre and Edwin Williams (!) went undrafted.  And what, no Isaiah Williams on the draft board?!?!  It’s a got-damn conspiracy, is what it is.  I’m gonna sick Bob Ley on you.


The Terp fan’s ultimate draft guide

He a fast dude.

He a fast dude.

At this point, all us non-underneath-a-rock-dwellers know that Darrius Heyward-Bey is considered one of the top receivers available in the NFL draft.  But did you know there are 10 Terps who could potentially be drafted this weekend?   It’s true.  Let’s break it all down, shall we?

Obviously it all starts with the DHB.  ESPN’s two-headed monster of Kiper and McShay (I wonder which head will eat the other one first) have him ranked fourth at WR, behind Michael Crabtree, Jerome Maclin, and Percy Harvin. Not too surprising, given that he ran the fastest 40 at the NFL combine. I nerded out and watched a little of his combine workout…what surprised me was how built he is. For all that speed, he’s not a skinny dude. Every mock draft has him going in the first round…some to Baltimore with pick 26, some to Tampa with pick 19. (I also wouldn’t count out the Skins reaching for him at 13…might be hard for them to resist a big-play guy who would put local butts in the seats. Do you really expect them to draft a lineman if they keep that pick?)

It’s not all about DHB, though. Center Edwin Williams is projected for the late rounds (frankly, I thought he’d be higher…he was on the Rimington Trophy watch list, for jerk’s sake).  They’re saying Kevin Barnes could be a “value pick” in the middle rounds at cornerback…his season-ending injury basically took him out of the running for the early rounds.  I think he’ll be nasty in the NFL…the dude hits like Mark Carrier.

I also think someone’s going to get a nice, serviceable tight end in Dan Gronkowski. He catches some, he blocks some, he works hard, he plays hard. So look for him to continue Maryland’s NFL pedigree at “the tight end position.” I could see him having a decent, if somewhat inconspicuous, career for the Browns or someone like that.

Dan Gronkowski gets it on at the combine

Dan Gronkowski gets it on at the combine

There’s another solid draft possibility too. Do you remember Jaime Thomas at left guard? I admit it…I do not remember Jamie Thomas at left guard. But apparently, he could be a late-round pick.

There are other guys, but they could be destined for the practice squad, or a desk at the local Gold’s Gym. Dave Philistin and Moise Fokou are in the mix at linebacker, but my guess is they won’t be drafted. Same goes for Jeremy Navarre, who was good for the Terps but probably not athletic enough to be an NFL defensive end. Tackles Dane Randolph and Scott Burley are top-40 prospects, at least according to some.

But how about this as a potential surprise? In all the DHB talk, we forgot about WR Isaiah Williams. He was a decent player, and he ran the same 40 time as Crabtree…maybe someone will take a flyer. Eh? Who’s with me on this one?  Who’s excited? Can’t you just hear it…”with the 256th pick in the NFL draft, the Kansas City Chiefs select……Isaiah Williams, wide receiver, Maryland!”  I’m setting my Tivo right now.

Overall, here’s my guess:  DHB in the first round, Barnes in the fourth, Gronkowski and Thomas in the fifth, Edwin Williams in the sixth, Isaiah Williams in the seventh. So that’s six guys…not too bad.  As always, we shall see.

(Photo credits: DHB photo is Sun photo by Christopher T. Assaf; Gronkowski is Scott Boehm/Getty Images)


Buh-bye, Braxton: Terps’ worst big man ever?


So Braxton Dupree is transferring. I would tell him not to let the door hit him in the ass on the way out, but that would require footwork. So instead, Braxton, as you exit, just try not to foul the door. OK? OK.

Braxton’s final stat averages with the Terps? 2.3 points. 2.3 rebounds. What symmetry. Hey, the guy just lost his confidence and never got it back.  He was buried on the bench by season’s end and that wasn’t gonna change. Eventually, he seemed to stop caring, as evidenced by his somewhat infamous sideline cut-ups at the end of a Terps loss.  The good news — beyond, you know, no more Braxton — is there’s now room for another player. It will be interesting to see what materializes there.

Now, only two questions remain. One: where does he rank on the list of all-time worst Terps big men, of which there are many? I’d rank him ahead (ie, worse than) Mike Mardesich and Travis Garrison, but just below Will Bowers for the worst all-time. Now that’s something you can hang your hat on. Question number two: where will he transfer to? Maybe UC Santa Cruz? He kinda looks like a Banana Slug. Or what about Mineral Area College? Eastern Idaho Tech? Wherever you land, best of luck, sir.


Getting back into the “spring” of things with Terps red-white game

Dear Mom and Cousin Merle,

Sorry we’ve been away for a while. Spring is like the deadest time on the college sports calendar (unless you count summer). At least we have good company…Terrapins Insider hasn’t posted for three weeks. Does that make you feel better, Terphed?

But anyway we’re back and we’re gonna try to keep it rolling. And if we can’t, we’ll call you, tell you why. For God’s sake if a doctor can do it then why can’t we?!?!?

And what’s more, there’s a lot of exciting stuff going on right now. No really. Because what says exciting more than the football team’s annual red-white game, set for this Saturday? Did someone say position battles? Boom. And you thought we were settled at Tight End. Come on, son. You don’t have to go through life so oblivious. Also remember that we have a new D-coordinator in Don Brown. Can’t wait to see him unleash all the crazy new schemes he will surely have prepared for his own offense.

Logic is annihilated during the annual red-white game, when brother faces brother in the ultimate fake test of wills.

Logic is annihilated during the annual red-white game, when brother faces brother in the ultimate fake test of wills.

The game happens at the end of Maryland Day, when us alums and fans look out over Route 1 and survey that which we have wrought, and determine that it is good. So think of the red-white game as the climax of this event…it’s like the part during Burning Man where they burn the man. I bet the house on White this year. Go White! Daddy needs a new pair of everything.

(Photo credit: Yuchen Nie — The Diamondback)


What did the title of the last post say?

Huh?  It’s like the lacrosse team isn’t even reading.   At the very least, they are finding shockingly little motivation in my words.   For despite my exhortations to just beat Hopkins, they did not.  They lost to the Blue Jays — the freaking Blue Jays — 10-9 last Saturday.  That’s three years in a row.  That makes me upset.

Way to ruin my LACROSSE JAM, fellas. Looks like I did all that drinking for nothing. And what am I going to do with all this paella? I can’t eat it now. That was LACROSSE JAM paella. Maybe those blue jays will eat it.


Beat Hopkins already

This Saturday! Saturday, Saturday, Saturday! At Ravens Stadium in Baltimore, it’s LACROSSE JAM 2009. Sponsored by Rock Star energy drink. National Bohemian Beer. And Jostens, goooooo Jostens.

Unfortunately, the real name of the event is the Smartlink Day of Rivals. Great name, guys. That has a ring like a broken Rolodex. So I’m just gonna stick with LACROSSE JAM 2009. So what are they doing at LACROSSE JAM that justifies booking a freaking NFL stadium? Is there a car giveaway? Is it nuuude lacrosse? No, it’s not. Maryland’s playing Hopkins, that’s all. It’s only the biggest rivalry in the sport. (And yes, that does include the Denver Outlaws versus the Long Island Lizards.)

Truckasaurus gets "geared" up for LACROSSE JAM

Truckasaurus gets "geared" up for LACROSSE JAM

I feel like Hopkins wins this every year. And the Blue Jays have indeed won the last two. As The Diamondback points out, not only has Hopkins won the last two, but they’ve entered both years on a losing streak. This season is no different. Hopkins, currently ranked #9, is 4-4. But the Terps, ranked #13, have lost two straight going into Saturday. Both teams need a win, and they need a win now.

I hope it’s on TV. Hell, maybe I’d even watch it. If nothing else, it’s always interesting to see how many guys named Brian and Dave they can fit on the field. LACROSSE JAM!!!!!!!!! GOOOOOOOO TERPS.


Lance, I want you to let down your defenses


Gary Williams: Hi, Lance. Hey, thanks again for agreeing to meet me here.


Lance Stephenson:  Sure. Hey, coach, I just want to say I’m sorry…you know, for putting you through all this. It’s just that…I’m just very confused right now.

Gary: I know you are, Lance. And that’s okay. I’m not mad. You know I would never pressure you.  That’s the last thing I would ever do.

Lance: You have no idea what it means to me to hear you say that.  Because, you know, one day, you feel so sure of yourself.  Everything was, you know, set up. Life was finally — finally! — coming together for me. And then I saw you in the stands the other night, and, well, all the old feelings just came rushing back.

Gary: When you say it was all coming together — you mean Kansas, right? You were going to go to Kansas?

Lance (looks down demurely): Yes. Yes, Gary. I won’t lie to you. I was going to go to Kansas. But then you were there! In the stands! I…everything just unraveled.

Gary: And that’s okay, Lance. It’s okay to have these feelings. Hey, I know a lot of schools are interested in you. Who wouldn’t be? You’re an amazing guy, Lance. You’re a 6’5″ guard with huge ups and a perimeter game to boot. You can get into the lane whenever you want. Does it hurt me to see these other schools wooing you? Sure, it hurts. Of course it hurts. I’m a human being, after all. Never forget that. But even so, despite all that, I want you to know, Lance…that I’m here for you. I’ll always wait. You know what’s been going on with me lately. I just haven’t been right. Don’t you see that you’re my big chance to turn it all around? You could be the one who saves me, Lance. I see myself complete in your eyes.

Lance: Wow, coach. I mean…wow. Hearing you talk like that, well, it makes me want to sign a letter of intent right here, on this table. But then I look at your team, and I see…I see…

Gary: What is it, Lance. You can tell me anything.

Lance: I just can’t stop myself from thinking about Greivis.

Gary: What? Greivis Vasquez?

Lance: Yes, coach. You know what Greivis I’m talkin about. Don’t insult my intelligence. Don’t you do that to me, Gary!

Gary: Okay, no, you’re right. I’m sorry. Yes, he does play the same position as you. And he’s a senior next year. So maybe playing time will be limited for you. At least the first season.

Lance: But what if I’m only there for one season? I have my future to think about, too. Everyone keeps telling me I’m a lottery pick, that I could be a lottery pick right now if the rules allowed it. So I can’t make you any promises beyond one season.

Gary: And I know that, Lance, I really do. I swear on my mother’s grave.

Lance: Don’t swear on your mama’s grave, Gary.

Gary: Okay, sorry, you’re right again. You’re always right, Lance.

Lance: I don’t care for swearing…especially about nobody’s mama.

Gary: Right. So I know you could go after one season. I know it. And that’s okay. Did I ever say you had to commit to me for more than one season?

Lance: Well…

Gary: Come on. Did I?

Lance: No, Gary. You didn’t.

Gary: Right. And that’s the kind of guy I am. I don’t know what Bill Self told you, or what the St. John’s guy told you, but I do know what I told you. And what I can promise you. And I can promise you this: if you come to Maryland, we will make it work. We’re gonna make beautiful music together, Lance. Just you wait and see.

Lance: I want to believe you, Gary. It’s just…I just need….I just need a little more time.

Gary: Fine, Lance. Take all the time you need. Late signing period is April 15 to May 20. Take all the damn time you need.

Lance: Don’t swear at me!

Gary: Waiter! Double chivas on the rocks, please!


blue chip watch: stephenson on the fence

The Post reported today that McDonald’s All-American Lance Stephenson has delayed his decision regarding which school he wants to play for.  Stephenson is Maryland’s top prospect, and his decision is to choose between Maryland, Kansas, and St. John’s.  According to the article, the late recruiting period runs through May 20th, so we may not know Stephenson’s choice for weeks.

I have a few thoughts on Stephenson.  First, the kid has crazy talent but is apparently quite immature.  I have already said that I’m concerned that he might not be a good personality fit for Gary Williams.  He also might not be a good personality fit for College Park.  I’ve seen a few brutal bar fights on Rte. 1 in my time.

Second, the article stated that he’s leaning toward Kansas, but Williams came to visit him and his teammate at Lincoln High James Padgett, who will be a forward at Maryland next year.  One has to interpret this as a sign that he initially wanted to go to Kansas because it has a bit more direct NBA exposure, but the Williams visit combined with oncourt events for the Terps from the last few weeks might be swaying him toward going to Maryland.

Third, despite the fact that many Terps fans think Greivis Vasquez will go unpicked in the NBA draft, I believe there is a good chance he will go.  Vasquez had a strong showing in the postseason, and a few NBA players have touted his skills after playing against him in international competition.  Shawn Siegel at has Greivis as a late second rounder.  If Vasquez is drafted, he’s got to go.  His family lives in Venezuela and they need the money.

I can imagine that Williams is feeling the heat to get Stephenson, because there will be a big hole in the lineup if Vasquez actually does leave.  What do you think he said to Lance on that trip up to NY?  “Lance, come on baby, you know you’re my guy.  Even if Greivis stays I’ll give you all of Mosely and Hayes’s minutes. Just come to Garyland.  Come to Garyalnd.”  The conversation probably went something like that.

The signs point toward Maryland getting Stephenson.  That should end the recruiting criticism of Gary once and for all.  The funny thing is, signing a letter of intent should be the easy part for Stephenson.  The hard part is winning.  Even if he is in a Terrapins uniform, Stephenson will have a lot of work to do to show he can be a winner.


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April 2009