03
Mar
09

They’ll never take our preview: A Maryland-Wake Forest analysis from Scotish freedom fighter William Wallace

mel-gibson-braveheart-photograph-c101019223Sons of Maryland!  I am William Wallace.  I come here today as ye sit on the eve o’ battle.  The largest battle o’ the year, laddies!  A battle for yer tournament lives!  If you be winnin this one, you may well find yerselves on the path to glory

The Demon Deacons from the Forest of Wake are comin.  And they are a formidable foe.  Aye, tis true.  Everyone knoos aboot Jeff Teague.  He’s a first-team all-ACC soldier on my soldiery ballot. 

So they have good guards.  But so have we.  I hoop Grrrreivis is equal to the mooment.  We wull see now woon’t we.  Aye, we wull.  

But in the meantime, the real problem for the Terps tonight is the bigguns.  Aye, the bigguns.  I ask ye.  What’ll they do aboot the Bigguns!?!?   They’ve a three-headed giant in 6’9″ James Johnson, and 6’9″ Al-Farouq Aminu, and the 7’0″ Chas McFarland.  Together they’re nae 20 feet high if they’re an inch!  The first two are in the top 10 in ACC in rrrreboondin!  Where does Maryland rank?   Dear sweet Jesus, where do they rank?   LAST?  Dead last in the conference in reboondin margin?!?!?  Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, laddie.   The bigguns are gonna ride right over ye!!  How wull you stop em?

I’ll tell ya how.  I see a whole army of my fellow fans, here, in support of their players.  You have come as free men, Terps.  And free men you are.  You controol yer oon destiny, men!   And yer pleein in yer oon backyard.  Will yer countrymen come to support ye?   Will they be full of throat and loud of tongue and besotted with whiskey?  I hoop soo. 

Now, for the bigguns.   I once made spears twice as long as a man.  They stopped a charge of heavy horse.  May Landon Milbourne and Big Dave Neal now build those spears in their minds.   Here’s hoopin the mind spears will stand up to the charge of the Demon Deacon bigs, a charge so fierce it shakes THE VERY GROOND!!!   So that’s what I got for ye on that, is  mind spears.

So aye, yes, tonight wu’ll see what stuff they’re meed of.  It’s all one game, laddies.  Fight, and you may die.  Run, and you’ll live.  At least for a while.  But when yer dyin’ in yer beds, many years from now, would ye be willin to trade all the days from this day to that, for one chance — JUST ONE CHANCE — to come back to the Coomcast Center?   So that ye could tell yer enemies, that they may take our lives.  BUT THEY’LL NEVER BURST……OUR BUBBLE!

ABBAAAAAAAA MAAAA MUUU GAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s old Scotish for GOOOOOOOOO TEEEERRRRRRRRPSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!

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2 Responses to “They’ll never take our preview: A Maryland-Wake Forest analysis from Scotish freedom fighter William Wallace”


  1. March 3, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    AAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEE. Goterrrrps.

  2. 2 terphed
    March 3, 2009 at 6:12 pm

    Biggest game of the season. Win this and UVA and we have to be in the mix. I had a nice nap after work, so I feel well rested for tonight’s matchup.


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