We interrupt this episode of “As The Vasquez Turns” to bring you some actual sports information.
Anyone out there a fan of the wrestling? Anyone? Bueller? Did you even know Maryland had a wrestling team? Or that they’re not even half bad? I think they should spice up the sport, though. They could have amateur wrestlers talk smack before a match, just like the pros. It should be heavy on the semi-coherent threats and cable TV curse words.
NORTH CAROLINA STATE WOLFPACK? MORE LIKE A BUNCH OF KITTENS, SUCKIN’ AT YOUR MAMA’S TEAT. ASS! BITCH! YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST WALK IN AND TAKE THE GOLD, YOU GOT ANOTHER THINK COMIN. BITCH ASS. YOU AIN’T THE FIRST TO TAKE A STEP UP, AND I CAN TELL YOU THIS, ASS-BITCHES…WHEN THE LIGHTS GO DOWN INSIDE THE SQUARED CIRCLE…YOU AIN’T…GONNA BE…THE LAST. WORD TO YOUR MUTHA!
Maybe they’re just not taking enough roids. Who knows. But perhaps it’s all for the better, as the Terps are not exactly a juggernaut so far this season. As it stands, the team is 3-5, and just lost their ACC opener to UNC, although last year, they were ACC champs for the first time in 35 years, led by conference wrestler of the year and All-American Hudson Taylor, who was just one of six Terps to go to the NCAA championships.
So here’s hoping they’re just a sunset flip away from getting untracked, and LAYING THE SMACK DOWN on the ACC. Because ACC…you can run…but you can’t hide…from The Turtle. FEAR IT, BITCHES!!!