NFL Terps Are Walking Wounded

With the football team resting its eyes over the bye week, let’s check in with all those Terps doing us proud at the next level.  Or, they would be, if almost every single one of them wasn’t injured.

The NFL Terps got together recently for a player reunion, and we got this exclusive snapshot!

First of all, of course, there’s Shawne Merriman, who tore a bunch of ligaments in his knee and tried to play anyway before quickly realizing that ligaments are important. I admire his grit, it’s a man-size thing to try and do, but you can’t just rub dirt on torn ligaments and will yourself into playing. Trust me, I know. For starters, ligaments are underneath skin and bone. And it’s just plain difficult to get dirt to penetrate that deeply.  You really have to come up with a novel delivery system.

But the injured list doesn’t stop there.  Observe these morose rolls, so that you may never forget the terrible toll that we can exact on a man in our lust for something greater than ourselves:

  • Vikings linebacker and former Terp tackling machine E.J. Henderson, lost for the season after dislocating a bunch of toes. That’s disgusting.
  • Patriots RB Lamont Jordan rolled an ankle Sunday, although Patriots fountainhead of sincerity Bill Belichick said “he’s a quick healer.” (And by “he’s a quick healer,” he means “Maroney is garbage, so Lamont is playing with a brain aneurysm if I ask him to.”)
  • Jets DT Kris Jenkins has a back. Er, injury.
  • Redskins OL Stephon Heyer has an injured shoulder.
  • TE-turned-offensive tackle (isn’t it usually the other way around?) Matt “Murph!” Murphy, out indefinitely with a partially torn rotator cuff.
  • Vikings safety Madieu Williams is still recovering (thankfully) from a neck injury.

This is a lot to handle, I know.  And if it doesn’t affect you, you’re not human.  But hey, if nothing else, we’ll always have Adam Podlesh, still alive and kicking punting, keeping the Terp flame alive in the NFL.  A special Shell Games salute to you, Adam Podlesh — The Toughest Terp By Default Of Them All.


5 Responses to “NFL Terps Are Walking Wounded”

  1. 1 terphed
    October 8, 2008 at 6:10 pm

    I think these guys left it all on Chevy Chase Field at Byrd Stadium. They just didn’t have anything left in the bank for the NFL.

  2. 2 Lindsey
    October 8, 2008 at 7:19 pm

    Dislocating a bunch of toes? Hey EJ, maybe a little less time spent in point shoes would do you some good.

  3. 3 aaronhawley
    October 9, 2008 at 2:58 pm

    Didn’t I see somewhere that Nick “The Kick” Novak was still in the league? I do still occasionally yell “Terp!” at the TV when someone random, usually Madieu Williams, makes a play.

  4. 4 terphed
    October 9, 2008 at 7:03 pm

    Don’t forget Shaun Hill! Or should we limit the discussion to Terps that actually play?

  5. October 9, 2008 at 7:08 pm

    There are a bunch that are still in the league and playing, although I think they’re outnumbered by the injured ones…Nick the Kick and Randy Starks (on Miami) are probably the two most prominent. Although Jared Gaither seems to be easing into a starting role in B-more, taking over at LT for Ogden…he’s got a big battle this Sunday with Dwight Freeney. I think Hill and Scott McBrien are both still in the league, but as like third-stringers.

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