Right this way, Jordan! We just wanna talk to you a little bit

 

Hey, Jordan, over here!  How ya doin?  How’s the thumb, heh?  Feelin better?  What did you say?  Didn’t quite catch that. Oh, you say it’s no big deal?  You’ll be ready this Saturday?  Heheh, that sounds great, Jordan.  And on behalf of myself, and all my associates here, I wanna wish you all the best. 

Oh, wait.  There was just one more thing.  The coach asked me to deliver a little message to you.  Yeah, that’s right, Ralphie the Fridge sent us.  So come on back, will ya?  I guess you could say this is our own little locker room back here.  You like it?  There’s just one little pointer we wanna give you.  On your throwin technique. It’ll only take a moment of your time. Come on back, Jordan.  I insist. 

Atta boy. Don’t be nervous, we’ve done this many times. And it may be NSFW, by the way.

Put some ice on it, Jordan. Someone call Ralphie, tell him it’s taken care of and he can go with Chris.

friedgen reveals he fathered steffy

Amid questions regarding quarterback Jordan Steffy’s poor performance against D-IIA Delaware this Saturday, Maryland head coach Ralph Friedgen revealed that he is protective of Steffy because he is, in fact, Steffy’s father.  The Post quotes Friedgen as stating, “If you’re booing my son, I’m going to get upset. That’s how I look at this kid. If he was a kid who didn’t give effort, who didn’t prepare, then that would be a different story.”

Questions regarding Freidgen’s relation to Steffy had arisen when sideline reporters overheard the coach whispering, “Don’t let them get to you, son,” during a game against West Virginia [pictured above]. Friedgen was the Terps offensive coordinator under Bobby Ross in December 1984 during the time which he would have impregnated Shari Steffy-Long.  Jordan Steffy could not be reached for comment because Freidgen has forbid the media from contacting his son.  According to the Post article, “Friedgen said he has felt the need to insulate Steffy from media scrutiny, which was why Steffy was not allowed to speak to reporters after Saturday’s game. Steffy was also not made available to speak with reporters yesterday.”

When asked for comment, backup quarterback Josh Portis said, “This explains a lot.  The coaches keep telling everyone I have ‘freakish talent’ yet the only plays they let me run this Saturday were naked bootlegs.  I feel like I’m back in Pop Warner and coach is giving his son all the playing time.”  The Terps other backup quarterback, Chris Turner, had one word for reporters: “Duuuuuude.”

Steffy sustained an injury to the thumb on his throwing hand in the season opener against Delaware, and is questionable for this Saturday’s game at Middle Tennessee.  Friedgen concluded the press conference by expressing pride in his kid and saying, “With what he is dealing with, and the scrutiny of every pass being judged, some of those people booing him would love for their children to be like Jordan Steffy.” Freidgen refused to comment when he was asked whether Steffy was faking injury so that he can be replaced as the starter without being embarrassed in front of his friends.

The Overreactor sounds off

OMFG.  Okay, okay, before we even engage on this, did you even see the game?  Yeah, sure, the Terps won, but to a true fan, things like Final Scores are of less importance than other stuff.  Like pass-blocking and gap-scheming, for example. Casual fans don’t know much about those, but trust me…they were piss poor.  Not to mention a little position I like to call QUARTERBACK.   Just slightly important, imho.  Wake up people!   You’re just fiddling aboard the Titanic, and we’re passing Rome on the right, and I see people toasting marshmallows at the city gates! (i.e., Rome is burning.)

Steffy looked so unbelievably putrid that I started pouring Jack Daniels directly onto my eyeballs, right there at the bar.  Anything to cleanse myself of those images of him underthrowing receivers and getting happy feet in the pocket. Some girl was like, “you’re spilling that on me,” but I was all like “why did I just do that, it really hurts.” Turner didn’t exactly fill me with confidence either. And God help us if we can’t finish drives–our kicker is unquestionably the worst in D-1. The boos raining down on them at Byrd were like sweet music to my ears. For a second, it was like I was back at the O.A.R. concert.

To sum up for you guys, there is absolutely NO WAY WE GO TO A BOWL this year unless we do the following things: Revoke Steffy’s scholarship, get Turner to transfer, start Portis next week, fire Ralph Friedgen, deport the kicker, and demand the immediate retraction of every single article ever written that included a positive word about Jordan Steffy. (Honestly, is that what passes for “journalism?”) These things MUST happen. Take it from me…the biggest Terp fan in the world.

on the half shell: maryland vs delaware

YES!  What a win.  Maryland is 1-0 baby!  What a great start to the 2008 season.

What you saw today was Maryland role players performing their roles.  Da’Rel Scott rolled off 26 carries for 197 yards and looked virtually unstoppable out there.  Steffy, the “game manager”, kept the offense steady, going 10/18.  He did throw a couple picks, but did not have any game changing turnovers.  Darrius Heyward-Bey continued to live-up to the pro hype with 90 total yards and a touchdown, including a sweet 36-yard reception.  My boy Davin Meggett started his Terrapin career off with a solid effort that included a score.  All-around it was a solid offensive showing, especially considering this was basically a preseason game.

The defense was stout, holding a quality Delaware team to 249 total yards, and shutting them out until the fourth quarter.  Defensive back Kevin Barnes started the year off right with an interception.  The Terps kept the Blue Hens on their side of the field for most of the game and dominated at the line.

Delaware might be D-II, but as we heard repeatedly throughout the broadcast they are one of the powerhouse D-II  programs.  Delaware has played the Terps evenly throughout the history of this border state rivalry.  They are no joke, and this Terrapin team took the task seriously to produce a win.

The Terps are undefeated.  At this point, all signs point toward a winning season.  GO TERPS!

quarterbacks are people too

Every once in awhile I’ll read an article that actually changes my opinion on an athlete. After reading Eric Prisbell’s update on Jordan Steffy in today’s Post, I must say I have a bit more sympathy for Steffy. You’ll recall that Steffy took an illegal helmet-to-helmet hit in a game against Rutgers last September. Rutgers is known as one of the dirtiest shit talking schools in the country, and there was great speculation that the hit was intentional and called for by the coaching staff to knock Steffy out of the game. Steffy suffered a severe concussion from the hit and missed most of the season, only to return for a few possessions in October.

It has been almost a year since the hit and Steffy is just getting back to 100%. His concussion was not the run of the mill seeing stars kind. For the last year Steffy suffered through severe headaches and memory loss. Reading this article today made me remember that a) Steffy is just a 22-year old kid, b) This sort of injury can be both mentally and physically devastating, and c) It took a lot of guts for him to get back on the field.

For once I’m going to change my stripes. After criticizing him for the last three years, I’ll be pulling for Jordan Steffy today. His talent and character have never been in doubt, but he’s never been on the field long enough to reach full potential. I have a lot of respect for a young guy that can man-up and make it back after suffering a big setback. Every new season is a clean slate. I’d love to see Steffy reach his full potential on the field in his senior year.

Steffy named starter, tumbleweeds tumble

So is it just me, or is there a lot of yawning going on this summer when it comes to Maryland football?  No buzz, no blue chip players, no interesting storylines, no nothing.  People already seem resigned to finishing 7-5, beating Fresno State 20-12 in the Meow Mix Bowl, and calling it a season.

And that attitude is not evidenced any better than it is by the coach naming Jordan Steffy the starting QB today seemingly by default.  Steffy, who was highly touted as a high schooler but has since proven injury prone and remarkably unremarkable in game action, is not exactly lighting my world on fire. 

Doesn’t he sort of look like a guy you’d find working at Trick Trucks or as a club promoter or something?  His countenance conveys not so much “BCS quarterback” as it does ”ladies drink free.”  On the bright side, maybe he’ll win us a few extra news conferences.  The Fridge could always use some arm candy up there.

The media coverage says it all.  The Washington Post didn’t even have this on their sports home page today, preferring articles on the Texas Longhorns and the Guatemalan baseball team.  The Terps’ own Web site had an article on Important Football Parking Information. So that shows you how baited the breath has really been on this. According to the Baltimore Sun article, “what [the QB decision] came down to was statistical performance.”   Well, that’s good.   I’m really glad the coaches had a gut feeling here, that Steffy leapt up and said “this job is mine.”  Oh, no, wait, careful statistical analyses won the day for Steffy.  He’s like the Chinese uneven bars girl of the 2008 Terps.

Here’s hoping some of the stats in question cover things like “touchdowns” and “victories” when it’s all said and done.  All kidding aside, I hope Steffy (and the rest of the team) is able to exceed expectations — or least establish some kind of expectation at some point this season. Best of luck to them.  I’ll be rooting for them the whole way, with a cool beverage or ten and a nice bowl of Meow Mix on hand.  Goterps.

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